Dork to Play Benefit show, in hopes of seeing naked breasts again in New Orleans

The Thursday night Happy Hours continue at the Pontiac Bar and Grill 6:30-9:30 Third and South, Philadelphia, PA
every Thursday till I get fired.

Hmmm. Is it happy hours? Or is it Happys hour, like surgeons general? Ok, its happy hours, but I wish it was the other.

also, this Tuesday Sept 20th, at the northstar bar, 8pm 27th and Poplar. $12...(but pay more) i'm playing a benefit for victims of Hurricane Katrina who are not only walking on sunshine but sleeping and eating it as well.

i may have a shitty apartment, but i hasn't floated away yet.*^
actually i almost got a refugee family, but they saw pictures of my place and decided to stay on their roof, it seemed more sanitary.

which brings up another thing i'd like to say...The ASTRODOME!!! is there anything it can't do??
Not only is it the site of the Bad News Bears Greatest victory, and the Soundstage for the Faked Apollo Moon Landings, but if you've got a swarm of Africanized Killer Bees attacking your VW Bug, you can drive it into the dome and they'll lower the tempature till the bees go dormant.

And as if that weren't enough, now its home to thousands who would otherwise be roaming the streets Finding food or looting **^

at the very end of this tome, i'll give you the press release for the gig.
its very cool its called "all together now" and its a fuckload of local philadelphia muscians and a whole slew of venues and promoters with one hundred percent of the money going to a variety of charities. I'm playing at 8pm at the Northstar 27th and Poplar. its Me and Frog Holler and Marah and Slo-Mo...i actually may be the only act on the bill who hasn't been on late night with conan o'brian. I'll be playing the part of Kane West. Anyway you'll see, there are some fantastic bands playing for a good cause. and you can give your money to any of the charities listed on the press release...although if you give the money to Noah's Wish please don't tell me. it will only piss me off. And i assume the Humans in need might be a bit hot under the collar as well.

but that's at the bottom. next tuesday Sept 20th.

20 years ago yesterday was September 13th 1985. Michelle Lickfield had a party. I wasnt invited. Many popular people were. Ty Baxter and Mike Serratore and Marty Friedenberg and Brian Ball were. They got all kinds of fucked up and Ty drove them home in his dads Blazer. Well the plan was to drive them home but at the intersection of Davisville road and Street Road* Ty Rolled his daddys car. Fucked up Mikes leg pretty good, (not to mention ripping the roof off the blazer...this was back when these things were trucks, so they didn't have to have to meet passenger car safety standards) I think it ended Mike's wrestling career, he walked with a cane till graduation?maybe he still does. But Marty and Brian Were Killed. There were others in the car. But only marty and brian died. They were teenagers they thought they were immortal. Theyve been dead longer than they were alive. (there was another fatal accident that year as well, but they were Vo-tech kids, as future mechanics !
and cosmotologists. somehow it didn't seem like as great a loss to my classmates...truth is, there is little in this world i need more than a good mechanic...and a pedicure wouldn't be so bad either)

september 13th 1985, I remember the date. I dont know why. I think it was a Friday night triskadrunkaphobia. Yesterday I googled the two of them and found nothing. Of course I found nothing. When they died, the internet was just Al Gore the Army and Howards brother. (posting porn stories to alt dot usenet groups)^^

I think I said hi to marty a couple of times?goofy looking motherfucker, but at 17 who wasnt. I was just reminded that he was buried in his football uniform, for which I assume he got a few nasty posthumous letters requesting its return, lest his diploma be withheld. Brian sat near me in homeroom, sometimes hed say hi. Once he high fived me. he was tall. A skinny kid with huge feet. I remember his white reeboks.

Ty was kind of a dick. He was sentenced to reform school or something. I forget, but he was still out by senior week. Where he was drunk whenever I saw him.

Both Marty and  Brians parents were the low rent John Walsh for a while, they made a cottage industry out of going to schools and preaching of the dangers of drinking and driving while simultaniusly suing everyone in site, TY Ford chevy michelle's parents. Each other (Dirk Sued Nasty, and then Stig accidentally sued himself) They were ahead of the curve by a few years on that one.** It got pretty preachy for a while around school, Kids were signing contracts with their parents and agreeing to call if they needed a ride.***

We had an assembly, I think no one spoke. I mean no one officially spoke. It was up to us to talk to ourselves. My ex best friend john bloom who was?um?dramatic. Gave some sort of soliloquy about how crushed people were up at penn state. I think the point of his speech was. I went up to penn state last weekend to have sex with my girlfriend. Leslie I love you. (he was one of the guys who wrote I love you to his high school girlfriend in his yearbook?I have all the forsight of a jazz musician and I still knew better than to do that)^^^

Then a bunch of the kids who were at the party spoke and cried. I enjoyed not being in class. I sat in the back and chuckled to myself. I thought it was cool to be cruel. I was Hawd, not like the sensitive puss I am these days.

There were TV crews at the edge of the school property. And there were stupid teenagers eager to give sound bytes (though I dont think they were called that then).

The local news made my classmates look like a bunch of idiots. Not to say that is a feat, Im just saying is all.

I havent thought about those two kids in a long time.
A very long time. But I thought about them yesterday.

Right now?think of someone you havent thought of in a long time?Go!, not me jackass, you were thinking about me when you opened the email.

Im just curious whose name pops into your head. If you feel like telling me Id love to hear it. Write to and gimme a paragraph on who you thought of and who they are to you  and the last time you thought of them and if theyre hot and might be single.

Its just an experiment. I wonder what will happen.

*^of course i did have the foresight to live 250 feet above sea level and 100 miles from the ocean. but i'm not here to brag.

**^depending on skin color

*yes, I know Street Road is a ridiculous name for a Thorofare. But If it bisects your town your whole life you dont think about it till people point it out#

**nationally ahead of the curve that is?interpersonally they were a day late and a ride home short.

***then theyd binge drink and drive home anyway, but in many ways lip service is what high school is all about.

#besides. Ill take it anyday over the Atlanta intersection of Peachtree, Peachtree and Peachtree. Or Salt lake citys 541 East 700 St.  North^

^not to be confused with 541 North 700 St. East. (two totally different places?and did you notice the footnote of the footnote of the footnote)

^^if you ever get the chance, google Richh stories. And read some, he was a funny motherfucker?much funnier than howard?and I can say that a. because its true, and b. because howard wont take the time to read these anymore. Especially if Im not talking about texas hold-em tournaments or chris jesus ferguson

^^^which is not to say I had a girlfriend?I didnt? lets be clear on that.

ok enough of that.

below you'll find the details for the All Together Now Benefit (yes i would've prefered if they hadn't named it after a beatles song, but i was told the US festival is still under copyright by steve jobs)

anyway no matter where you go tuesday you're in for a great night of music, with great bands and a very good cause. Remember, as long at Trent Lott has no home in Mississippi, he has to stay in his Washington residence....and Legislate...did you hear me? Legislate. (although i do remember him on BET a few years ago saying he was now for Affirmative Action.)

ok i've said enough. i hope some of you email me with stories of people from your past, and i hope to see you at the happys hour or at the benefit at the north star.

as they say in the big easy "le bon ton roulez"...which means Jon Bon Jovi is Phat!! or something.

peace out.


For Immediate Release
September 12, 2005

All Together Now!
The Philadelphia music community comes together to benefit those effected by Hurricane Katrina.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

In an unprecedented banding together of forces, a coalition of Philadelphias music community has come together for the benefit of those whose lives were effected by Hurricane Katrina. Businesses and organization including promoters, venues, publicists, media personalities and especially musicians will donate from performances on September 20th at leading area venues including The Sellersville Theatre, World Cafe Live, the Tin Angel, Steel City Coffeehouse, North Star, Indre Studios and more.
100% of the proceeds will go to the relief effort; beneficiaries include: Noahs Wish, Habitat for Humanity and MusicCares.

If youve spent your time wondering, What can I do to help?, now is your chance. Please join us!

Confirmed Lineups (in no particular order) include:

North Star Bar (8pm): Marah; Frog Holler; SloMo; Adam Brodsky

WCL Upstairs: hosted by Leigh Goldstein (7:30pm): Josh Komorowski; Adam Monaco; Amy Jarone; Susan Cowsill; Trisha O'Keefe; Holiday: featuring Karen Gross, Gina Scipione and Michelle Nagy

WCL Downstairs (7:30pm): Ben Arnold; Joseph Parsons; Lili Ael; John Francis; Birdie; Lelia Broussard; Patrick's Head; Susan Cowsill; Lauren Hart; The Brakes

Sellersville Theatre (7:30): Kate Gaffney; Caryn Lin; Lizanne Knott; Grey Eye Glances; Chris Kasper; LisaBeth Weber

Steel City (7:30pm): Gillian Grassie; Nora Whittaker; John Faye

Tin Angel (8pm): Stargazer Lily (reunited for the cause!); Kenn Kweder; Phil Roy; Jen Hess & Hotch; Erika; Adrien Reju; Vanida Gail

Philadelphia Songwriters Project @ Indre Studios (7pm): Kufie & BurnDownAllStars; Stygian Veil; Dan May; Erik Mitchell; Anam Owili-eger

Participating entities include Point Entertainment, Gene Shay, Tin Angel, World Caf Live, WXPN, the Philadelphia Songwriters Project, Sellersville Theatre, Steel City Coffeehouse, Heyday Entertainment, Common Ground and David Wannop Productions. - - - - - -

Charities - -

For more information, please call Jesse Lundy at 610-642-0292 or email

updated: 16 years ago